Is the idea of God knowing your secrets comforting or terrifying? For most of us, it's terrifying. Secrets generally have a negative connotation, and rightfully so. The secret places of our hearts and minds are where we keep those things we don't want others to know. It's where we store our fears, our doubts, our insecurities, our guilts, our temptations and vices, and everything else we can't reconcile with the type of life we know God has call us to. I think a lot of us hold on to our secrets because we're terrified of what God would think if He knew how much the world still resides in our hearts.
In Jeremiah 23:23-24, we read...
"Am I a God who is only near" - this is the Lord's declaration - "and not a God who is far away? Can a person hide in secret places where I cannot see him?" - the Lord's declaration. "Do I not fill the heavens and the earth?" - the Lord's declaration. (Jeremiah 23:23-24, CSB)
I think the idea of our "secret life" is something which challenges our idea of God. If we see God as an accessory to the rest of our lives, then we probably aren't worried about God knowing our "dirty little secrets". God stays in His box and our vices stay in theirs. However, if we recognize the implications of the God we claim to know, then it makes complete sense that He sees all our secrets. He's God of all Creation. He's God of salvation. He's God of eternity. Why would we not also think He is the God of our hearts and minds?
This is something that should convict us and motivate us to "do better". However, it should also be something that frees us. You don't have to worry about "what God would do if He knew your secrets", because He already knows. In fact, God already knew. In Jeremiah 1:4-5 we read...
The word of the Lord came to me: I chose you before I formed you in the womb; I set you apart before you were born. I appointed you a prophet to the nations. (Jeremiah 1:4-5, CSB)
God seems to be familiar with us well before anyone else knows us. God knew our vices well before we do. In fact, God knew the weight of our sins when He sent His son to this earth to die on the cross. Now consider that for just one moment. That means that God (1) knew your secrets, (2) knew you would try to keep those things secret, and (3) still willingly supplied us salvation on the cross. This should be a revelation of freedom! How glorious it is to know that Christ looks at us, like the adulteress awaiting her stoning in John 8 and says, "Neither do I condemn you. [...] Go, and from now on do not sin anymore." (Jn 8:11b)
You are free from your sin, both the sin which has been publicly acknowledged and the sin you hide in shame. God sees that sin and did the work to afford you salvation just the same. The question now is "what are you doing to do with that freedom?" Are you going to attempt to go on living with your secret deficiencies, or are you going to "live your life worthy of the gospel of Christ" (ref Phil 1:27)? Choose life, because that's what God predestined for His children.
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