From 2010 - 2020, I was involved in youth ministry. I grew so much in my faith over this time by being challenged, failing, and seeing how God can achieve things bigger than myself in the lives of others. One aspect of youth ministry that was a constant struggle was the expectation of what you were to do in the lives of your students. Many did not attend church on Sunday, so our Wednesday night programs were some of the only opportunities we had to minister to these teens.
Consider the distribution of time I had to "give Jesus" to these teens.
Each week, we likely instructed students on the Bible for 30-45 minutes. Let's be optimistic and call it an hour. Well, those same students were going to school 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, for a total of 35 hours weekly (35x more than church). Many were then involved in sports or after school activities which were around 6-10 hours each week, depending on the season (so 6-10x more than church). Add in social time with friends for another few hours and what you're left with is church taking up only a tiny percentage of their waking hours.
The tremendous outweighing of other time obligations on our students made some of the critiques of youth ministry infuriating.
"I need someone who can spend more time on my teen."
"I need a program that provides a greater diversity of opportunities."
"My child just doesn't want to go to church and I need a program that will change that."
The petty side of me always wanted to respond. "I need parents who value God in the lives' of their kids enough to not rely so much on strangers to teach them about Jesus."
Take a look at Mary and Joseph. Given that we just finished celebrating Christmas, it's worthwhile to take a look at the events immediately after the birth of Christ and what it reveals to us about how they prioritized God in the life of Jesus (which I know sounds funny, but follow me)...
21 When the eight days were completed for his circumcision, he was named Jesus—the name given by the angel before he was conceived. 22 And when the days of their purification according to the law of Moses were finished, they brought him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord 23 (just as it is written in the law of the Lord, Every firstborn male will be dedicated to the Lord) 24 and to offer a sacrifice (according to what is stated in the law of the Lord, a pair of turtledoves or two young pigeons). [...] 41 Every year his parents traveled to Jerusalem for the Passover Festival. (Luke 2:21-24;41)
Here is what I would like to point out... ... No one in 1 AD had a Wednesday night youth program. ... No one had Awanas or CentriFuge summer camps. ... No one had lock-ins, games with Nerf darts, or cool audio-visuals to capture their kids' attention.
So, I ask you, how did they "get God" in their lives? Answer: the parents did some parenting. Jesus' own parents were dedicated to raising Jesus in such as way as was customary and commanded by the Law of Moses. They didn't look at Jesus and say, "Well, you were sent here by God so we'll just let the world deal with it." Instead, we see the parents ensuring that religious observance is made. We see the parents taking Jesus to temple. We see parents who are taking this individual that they knew was sent by God (but didn't know he was JESUS, SON OF GOD, mind you) and ensuring that they do everything in their power to acquaint him with the God they serve. That's a role model worth pursuing.
This is a difficult message because it cuts against the cultural norm. In a world where we have ceded our duty to teach our kids about the world to the schools, our duty to train our kids to the athletic leagues, and our duty to socialize our kids to community groups, it's no wonder that so many have ceded their responsibility to disciple their children to a bunch of religious volunteers or vocational ministry strangers.
[Note: This isn't to say anything bad about those volunteers and ministers. Those individuals attempting to "give Jesus" to the children of today are fighting an uphill battle and so often the bulk of their efforts go completely unseen. They are facing the same lopsided time commitment that I saw for so long and I could not admire them more for their sacrifice. With that being said... they are not "mom and dad" their influence in the lives of our children is limited and temporary.]
This message may be difficult, but it is being shared with the utmost respect and admiration for our parents: you may not realize it, but your voice carries so much weight in the lives of your kids. If you look down on something, your kids will look down on it at well. If you respect something, your kids will respect it. If you demonstrate that something is possible or impossible, your kids will live in that reality. As someone who saw many teens from many different parental backgrounds come in and out of the church, I plead to all parents that you seize control of the awesome power and authority that you have in your household. Teach your children what it means to love Jesus and love the Lord. If you do that, then the lessons reinforced by things like YoungLife, Awanas, and church groups will be so much more impactful.
Whatever you do, don't relinquish the opportunity you have to let your children know how much God means to you... and how much he can mean to them. To do so would rob them of the single greatest blessing they could ever attain in this world.
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